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| March 21, 2005 Avalon update and pictures |
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| Sent: March 21, 2005 Subject: Avalon update and pictures Hello friends! Are you sick of me yet? Actually, if you are...please tell us. We're in this for 2 1/2 years, but you all don't have to serve the same sentence. You are free to parole whenever you're sick of us! Attached are pictures of my little baldy. The crown and earrings were early Easter gifts from her papas. She'll wear them for hours, constantly wiggling her head to feel the earrings jingle-jangle. She thinks she's fabulous in them and can't get enough of herself in mirrors! Too funny. Several of the pictures are of the infamous Build A Bear Elmo I've written you about. How cute is he? She loves to listen to his heart and take his temperature. She often sticks the syringe down his shirt and gives his "tubie" a "drink". Sometimes, he "doctors" other animals. But frankly, she likes to play nurse the most. I love the giggle picture. She's really just that amused with herself. The pictures of bunny ears are from today. Avalon had a clinic appointment for bloodwork and to be de-accessed. Since it was a short day, Ambrosia and Aurora came with us to help distract her. Ambrosia loves the bunny ears too. Aurora, of course, was way too sophisticated for them. They "didn't match" her outfit. Heaven help me, teen fashion angst is looming frighteningly near... First things first, let's cover the blood work. From a series of pathetic ANC's below 100 last week, she rocketed to an impressive 4094 today. Amazing what that little body can do! The score means she will, indeed, start the next phase of chemo on Thursday. This will be two weeks of non-stop horrifying drugs. NIck and I are walking an odd line between being scared of what's to come, and thrilled that we're about to get it over with. These are the days that I'm glad; she's clueless. She gets two more days of halcyon bliss, while we sweat out 1000 good and bad scenarios. Basically, the universe will have its way, regardless. We just have to be good little scouts and "be prepared". 'Nough said. This morning also brought the end of the IV drugs at home. Halle-stinkin'-lujah! I will admit that the sage advice offered by some friends in-the-know, was true. It really did all get easier about the 8th or 9th dose. Somewhere in there you...adjust. Its kind of like our life since diagnosis. You go on through the paces, doing what needs to be done. Only periodically, do you realize what a weird place you're really in. A few times I found myself "stepping back" from what I was doing, and marveling at the fact that I was actually pushing drugs into my daughter's main artery. Not crying, not grossing out, just marveling at the fact that I wasn't doing either of the other options. I can't quite put my finger on it. I know it sounds horrid to all of you, but really...when you're in it, you don't have the time to dwell on that part of it. You just do it, and then move on. Someday, maybe, I'll be better able to verbalize this odd time and space warp we're in. For now, its late, and this old lady is "low in the poots", as my grandmother would have said. You know you're in serious need of sleep when you find yourself wistfully contemplating mattress commercials... I hope you find my tiny, little, cross-dressing Yule Brenner as cute as I do. I am here to tell you, that oddly shaped melon is the softest thing you'll ever smooch! It must be tickly, she grins and squinches every time we kiss on her. And I'm here to report, that yes, pasta clean-up is significantly faster! Here's wishing you a smile, a laugh, and a warm hug...the ingrediants for a perfect day... Love to ALL of you!!! Alicia, NIck, Aurora, Ambrosia, and Avalon |
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